Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Trump Lectures Wounded Soldier

In an attempt to minimize the damage done in recent days regarding the now infamous "Khan" remarks, Donald Trump stopped by a U.S. military hospital in an attempt to explain the meaning of real sacrifice to a wounded soldier.

"Look pal," he began, "I can understand your superficial wounds here but let me tell you what REAL sacrifice means" his voice becoming loud enough to be heard on the entire floor.

"You ever step into a bankruptcy court? It's all on the line pal. In two shakes of a gavel I could be sitting in my tower (Trump Tower) sweating over my next moves. It's brutal.

Trump, lecturing wounded soldier

"And look at you. Maybe a flesh wound here and there. Try living without your mouth connected to your brain! Do you have any idea how I suffer? At any moment I could make a remark that could send my poll numbers dropping faster than appendages at a leper disco, pal. Do you even understand the kind of strain I'm under!!" Trump began to shake the wounded soldier but had to be restrained by hospital personnel.

"People have no idea. I suffer all the time. When was my last pedicure? Who knows? It's like my memory is slipping. It's making me nuts!

The scolding, quickly turning into a rampage on Purple Hearts and John McCain  ended with hospital security ushering Trump to a nearby elevator as Trump was heard telling a passing nurse, "I hope the kid votes for me. You know. If he can get himself into a voting booth. Otherwise this is a wasted trip."

Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell were not immediately available for comment.

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